Subject: I can't make up my mind! Help me, Cthulhu!
Message: Dear Mr. Cthulhu, Can you help me? I can't decide which girl I prefer, Veronica Lodge or Betty Cooper. One is pure of heart, a good sport, even-tempered, helpful, generous, and kind. The other is selfish, impetuous, vain, spoiled, vengeful, and shallow. And also very, very rich, while the other is poor but honest. I just can't make up my mind who I should seriously woo and wed. What would YOU do? Thanks for your help, and later I may ask if you have any ideas how to horribly destroy my arch-nemesis Reggie Van Mantle and send his soul shrieking and gibbering into the nether realm where it will be torn to bits by extradimensional terrors. Best wishes from Riverdale, Archie Andrews
Cthulhu hears and is annoyed, but intrigued. When next you summon my wisdom specify which is the blonde and which the brunette. Your question is meaningless from a cosmic perspective but reminds me of a little problem I had with Ghatanothoa and Shub-Niggurath both great looking beings in their way... Ultimately to believe you have choice is the utmost folly of your race; but you might try inviting them both to the same diner and then see if one destroys and devours her foe. What does Forsythe Pendleton Jones III think?
Cthulhu will attempt to answer your question.
Don't you often say to yourself "I wonder what Cthulhu would do ?" I know I do, so here's your chance.
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